Why Lori Harvey was shamed after confirming Michael B. Jordan romance: ‘Societal double standards’
Michael B. Jordan and Lori Harvey are Instagram official. Following months of dating rumors, the pair posted matching portraits Sunday night.
“Faves!” Gabrielle Union wrote in response to the couple’s loved-up pictures. “Love this! Congrats!” D-Nice added. “BEAUTIFUL,” Malika Haqq commented.
But other reactions weren’t as kind. In fact, many — especially those on Twitter — zeroed in on Harvey’s dating history, ridiculing the 24-year-old for “running through” celebrity men.
It’s true that Harvey, a model (and, yes, television personality Steve Harvey’s stepdaughter), has been in previous relationships. She’s been linked to rapper Future, Trey Songz, Justin Combs (and later his father, Sean “Diddy” Combs); she was also engaged to Dutch soccer player Memphis Depay in 2017. It’s not the number of men she’s been paired to that makes her unique. The number, in fact, makes her incredibly normal. What makes Harvey stand out is the celebrity aspect of it all.
If we normalized “dating” it wouldn’t be a discussion on how many men Lori Harvey has dated.
— Laycee💕 (@layyccee) January 11, 2021
So, they do what they always do. They slut shame & maculinise liberated women in the hopes that we’ll fall back in line & simply accept being “wifed” by a man with nothing but the bare minimum & no personality, goals or ambition to offer. Make no mistake, they are scared.
— Ambrosia™ Freelance Hottie® (@ambrosia_omG) January 11, 2021
Lori Harvey ain’t no pioneer lmao y’all haven’t dated before? She ain’t discover dating lmao
— Queen D. (@radricadavis_) January 11, 2021
Lori Harvey hasn’t even dated a lot of people. It’s just that all the men she’s dated have been high profile. People need to relax
— Ann Marie Lastrassi stan (@naledimashishi) January 11, 2021
While the judgment, in general, is unwarranted, the negative attention squarely focused on Harvey brings up another point: Why was her male counterpart safe from chastisement? Jordan, 33, has also been linked to other ladies, including musician Snoh Aalegra, Lupita Nyong’o and KiKi Layne.
La’Toya Hart, founder of the Heartbreak Clinic, a resource that aims to help women heal from heartbreak through courses and other tools, attributes the one-sided backlash to societal double-standards.
“Historically men have been celebrated when having an extensive dating history,” Hart tells Yahoo Life. “This is evident in the views shared on Michael and Lori’s dating history. Although both have a history, many have acknowledged only Lori’s past. Having an extensive dating history has subjected many women to ridicule and judgment; the traditional view is that women’s history should be limited or not have one. The reality Is dating allows men and women to explore; It takes time, experience, and maturity to learn what you desire in a partner.”
Hart notes that one of the most important things a woman can do is decide what she wants in a partner and what she is willing to give up, something she praises Harvey for doing.
“Lori Harvey’s dating history over the years shows she is a woman that knows her worth and the value she brings to a relationship, and she is committed to being with someone that meets those expectations,” Hart explains. “The perception may be that she is an opportunist or someone who ‘gets around’ due to societal double standards, now, it is time for all women to challenge this narrative. Women should feel empowered to challenge the status quo and to go after the things they desire.”
Though dating has changed over the years, Hart says many people’s POVs have yet to catch up.
“The natural solution to this issue is to challenge traditional views and ensure that societal dating is adjusted to ensure they are more inclusive,” she notes. “When a woman finds the courage to let go, the most important thing we can do is offer love, support and encouragement without judgment.”
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